Good morning all!
So last we spoke, I had some drama! EEEK! Well, I'm happy to say that for the moment, Drama can't find me! Of course it always sneaks up on me very unexpectedly, but such as life. I gave out a healthy dose of stiff arm to all the people that brought me drama and since then DRAMA-FREE!
Anyway, for a long time, I've been involved in the never-ending battle of the bulge. Well, for the past couple of years, I've been on the losing side. See, once upon a time, I as a cheerleader, no make that THE cheerleader...yes I'm tooting my horn! LOL I never had a need to exercise outside of cheerleading because it kept me in shape. Needless to say at the age of 28, with two bad knees, wrists, a bad shoulder and back issues, my cheerleading days are over! Yup I hung up my pom-poms a long time ago. Though sometimes I do feel the need to relive my glory days, I think I've come to see that they are over :(
So, I've been on the losing end of the battle of the bulge because I find exercise to be boring and monotonous! Like walking/running on a treadmill for 30-45 mins...that is to laugh! Now I know there's Zumba, kickboxing and the like, but its not cheerleading! I know what you are thinking...."get over it!" I've tried but I can't! That is until last week...
I was having a conversation with one of my best friends and she said something to me that just resonated: "It's like I'm watching myself give myself diabetes, and that's just dumb." Wow I thought! I never thought of it that way. Now obviously diabetes, high blood pressure, heart problems, etc. run ramped in the AA community, so we all should be better take ownership of our health. But until that comment, and that conversation it hadn't occurred to me that I was doing this to myself. And that YES I have a choice and I things don't really have to be this way. I guess it comes down to ACCOUNTABILITY! I wasn't holding myself accountable for my actions I was too busy making excuses and leading myself to believe "oh diabetes won't happen to me"....riiiiiight!
So, I've decided to hold myself fully accountable from now on. Since last week, I've exercised one time...I know it may not seem like much, but I haven't done that in months! In addition, fully intend to renew my Bally's membership, and heck at $68.00 for one year, its a steal and I'd be dumb not to! Also, no more sodas! From now on just Water and OJ (if my throat hurts). I've started to take a multivitamin as well and I try not to eat after 7:00pm during the week.
As far as I can tell, I feel okay.And believe me, feeling okay is way better than how I usually feel, which is HUNGRY! But I know once I develop my cheerleading based exercise routine I'll feel even better. Then I'll have the best of both worlds! HA! The goal of all of this is to not lose weight (I mean yes I want to do that) but to feel better and treat myself better.
After all, I'm worth it and so are you!
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Monday, June 14, 2010
Can't Save the Unsaveable
Morn-ting everyone! So this blog is a follow-up if you will to my last one. So my last blog had a big message, a message that apparently a lot of folks needed to hear. I got a lot of feedback on it...thanks for reading! And more importantly, thanks for receiving the message.
Unfortunately, when I birthed my last blog, the inspiration behind it was only a single person. It is not surprising however, that this person is probably not even reading, and even if they did read, they probably wouldn't receive the message.
So in the spirit of closure I will say this, to me, being a true friend to someone is pointing out that they don't have a parachute when they are about to jump off a cliff. However, after laboring about my feelings on this particular friend's choices, I've decided that sometimes you just have to let the person jump parachute-less and all. It pains me to do this because it goes against what I typically would do, but I've come to a point where I feel like I've done all I can....maybe too much! I say that because I feel this person keeps me at a distance, I guess maybe they realize that what I'm saying is true, but they just refuse to face it...stubborn ass!
If you are content in wondering the forest of life without a flashlight, be my guest. Personally, I wish I had more friends like me. Because if you can't save yourself, then I certainly can't save you.
Oh well, such is life. Sad that folks gotta learn the hard way. I pray that they do indeed eventually learn because only fools make the same mistakes over and over and over again and expect a different and better outcome.
Signed,
A FORMER Fool
Unfortunately, when I birthed my last blog, the inspiration behind it was only a single person. It is not surprising however, that this person is probably not even reading, and even if they did read, they probably wouldn't receive the message.
So in the spirit of closure I will say this, to me, being a true friend to someone is pointing out that they don't have a parachute when they are about to jump off a cliff. However, after laboring about my feelings on this particular friend's choices, I've decided that sometimes you just have to let the person jump parachute-less and all. It pains me to do this because it goes against what I typically would do, but I've come to a point where I feel like I've done all I can....maybe too much! I say that because I feel this person keeps me at a distance, I guess maybe they realize that what I'm saying is true, but they just refuse to face it...stubborn ass!
If you are content in wondering the forest of life without a flashlight, be my guest. Personally, I wish I had more friends like me. Because if you can't save yourself, then I certainly can't save you.
Oh well, such is life. Sad that folks gotta learn the hard way. I pray that they do indeed eventually learn because only fools make the same mistakes over and over and over again and expect a different and better outcome.
Signed,
A FORMER Fool
Monday, June 7, 2010
In Your Time or His?
As I lazily laid around yesterday watching the hubby get dressed to go out, I noticed that one of his Bibles was on the bed. Not having any idea what I wanted to read inside, I flipped it opened and ironically it opened to Ecclesiastes 3:
There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
Back in 2004, I was 22 years of age and had just graduated from college. I was full of hopes and dreams of marriage, kids, great career, etc. I just knew that by the time I reached 24/25 I'd be married and happily on my way to being a Mom with a nice house, dogs, etc. Sadly, a dose of reality set in the following year when I was at a job I hated with a supervisor that wanted nothing more than to see me fail. I made very little money and was still living at home with the parents. The latter was something I considered to be an embarrassment, because I had never lived on my own and I thought it was more than time to move-out, but I couldn't afford to.
To add insult to injury, my love life left much to be desired. I was with someone who claimed they loved me, but I kinda felt like he was trying to mold me into a shell of myself, which I allowed at the time, but I couldn't figure out why. I now know that I was settling to just have someone to call my own. Something that I didn't stop doing until 2007....sad, but very true.
During this period of my life, I was very into church. I made sure I was there every Sunday, with my tithes in hand. Sang songs, clapped my hands and wrote down great points the pastor made so I could refer to them later. But as my life took a turn for the worst, I began to ask myself...why I am bothering? God clearly is ignoring me and my situations while blessing those who don't even acknowledge him. So, I slowly began to drift away into a sea of depression and desperation which led me to have a negative attitude and to be alone with no man to call my own for the next two years.
Finally in 2007, after getting a better job and a home of my own, I decided to let go of the negativity and baggage and explore just hanging out, nothing serious, just a movie and dinner with a companion from time to time. Basically, keeping it very light. I had come to the realization that I love myself too much to be treated any ole' kinda way. Well, the second month of 2007, I met my now husband.
Now, in 2010 I can appreciate the two year hiatus and all the crap that took place between 2005 and 2007 because it led me to where I am today. Now why did I take you on that journey through my life? To share with you a few truths that I learned along the way:
1. Be satisfied with where you are and what you have now. Trust me, it can get and probably will get worse before it gets better.
2. Don't miss out on your blessing because its not what you want. God gives us what we need and a little bit of what we want (sometimes). Again, trust me! If you're in a situation where you're unhappy, its not the final destination in your life, just a layover, but the length of that layover will be determined by your attitude.
3. Like the passage says, there is a time for everything! Just because someone else is receiving their blessing, don't compare your life to theirs. All you see is their glory, but you have no idea the story behind it. Your time is not God's time.
Anyway, that's my story. Now, I'm not saying waiting patiently for your time is easy because its not. No one wants to be stuck in a rut that they can't see there way out of. But sometimes its not meant for us to see, but for us to just have faith and know that things will work out even if it seems impossible. If something doesn't work out then it wasn't meant to be and we should just press forward.
I have a few friends that are struggling with Time and I hope they receive this message and learn from my mistakes. Five years seems like a long time, but compared to 28 years, its a drop in the bucket.
There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
Back in 2004, I was 22 years of age and had just graduated from college. I was full of hopes and dreams of marriage, kids, great career, etc. I just knew that by the time I reached 24/25 I'd be married and happily on my way to being a Mom with a nice house, dogs, etc. Sadly, a dose of reality set in the following year when I was at a job I hated with a supervisor that wanted nothing more than to see me fail. I made very little money and was still living at home with the parents. The latter was something I considered to be an embarrassment, because I had never lived on my own and I thought it was more than time to move-out, but I couldn't afford to.
To add insult to injury, my love life left much to be desired. I was with someone who claimed they loved me, but I kinda felt like he was trying to mold me into a shell of myself, which I allowed at the time, but I couldn't figure out why. I now know that I was settling to just have someone to call my own. Something that I didn't stop doing until 2007....sad, but very true.
During this period of my life, I was very into church. I made sure I was there every Sunday, with my tithes in hand. Sang songs, clapped my hands and wrote down great points the pastor made so I could refer to them later. But as my life took a turn for the worst, I began to ask myself...why I am bothering? God clearly is ignoring me and my situations while blessing those who don't even acknowledge him. So, I slowly began to drift away into a sea of depression and desperation which led me to have a negative attitude and to be alone with no man to call my own for the next two years.
Finally in 2007, after getting a better job and a home of my own, I decided to let go of the negativity and baggage and explore just hanging out, nothing serious, just a movie and dinner with a companion from time to time. Basically, keeping it very light. I had come to the realization that I love myself too much to be treated any ole' kinda way. Well, the second month of 2007, I met my now husband.
Now, in 2010 I can appreciate the two year hiatus and all the crap that took place between 2005 and 2007 because it led me to where I am today. Now why did I take you on that journey through my life? To share with you a few truths that I learned along the way:
1. Be satisfied with where you are and what you have now. Trust me, it can get and probably will get worse before it gets better.
2. Don't miss out on your blessing because its not what you want. God gives us what we need and a little bit of what we want (sometimes). Again, trust me! If you're in a situation where you're unhappy, its not the final destination in your life, just a layover, but the length of that layover will be determined by your attitude.
3. Like the passage says, there is a time for everything! Just because someone else is receiving their blessing, don't compare your life to theirs. All you see is their glory, but you have no idea the story behind it. Your time is not God's time.
Anyway, that's my story. Now, I'm not saying waiting patiently for your time is easy because its not. No one wants to be stuck in a rut that they can't see there way out of. But sometimes its not meant for us to see, but for us to just have faith and know that things will work out even if it seems impossible. If something doesn't work out then it wasn't meant to be and we should just press forward.
I have a few friends that are struggling with Time and I hope they receive this message and learn from my mistakes. Five years seems like a long time, but compared to 28 years, its a drop in the bucket.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
If Ya Real And Ya Know It Clap Ya Hands *Clap Clap*
G'day all! Hope the Memorial weekend was fantastic! Mine left much to be desired, but at least it ended on a brighter note than it began so for that I am thankful.
So this past May was a very interesting and trying month for me in many ways. But as always I try to look on the bright side of things, even though sometimes it can be a wee bit hard to see. For example, my great-aunt who I was very close to passed away. Needless to say I was very upset for a while. Everyone around me kept saying that "oh she lived a long life...at least she's not suffering, etc." I didn't care about any of that...she's gone and I don't want her to be and that was it! Couldn't really see past that for a minute. But like all things, that passed. Her death made me realize that life is too short and one minute you're here, the next you could be gone. A very simple concept in theory, but one we tend to forget all the time. Now, its unfortunate that someone dear to me had to leave my life in order for me to remember this, but at least I did indeed remember.
So with this renewed concept in mind, I re-declared who I am as a person...REAL! Therefore, those who are not real or cannot take me being real with them I've decided to bid them adieu! Doesn't mean I have any less love for ya, just means you can't be a part of my life like ya used to be. Sorry, but real recognize real and VivalaDiva can only associate herself with those like her :D
Another interesting thing happened in the month of May was my want and need to better my relationship with God. As always when you draw closer to God some folks in your life fall by the wayside, especially those you thought you were close to. Sad, but it always happens. However, I never worry about people because they come and they go; some are in your life for a season, and some a lifetime. I feel blessed to have known folks, even when they have wronged me, because believe it or not, wrong people help you recognize "right" people. Consequently, when you meet the "right" people, they help you recognize the wrong people disguised as "right" people. Following me?
Anyway, I'm ex-communicating the wrong right people for the right right people :) So if you find yourself talking less and less to VivalaDiva, now you know why....
Oh and the most important lesson of May: loose lips sink ships! I think I'll be keeping my secrets between me, my hubby, and God. Because people CLEARLY cannot be trusted.
Peace
So this past May was a very interesting and trying month for me in many ways. But as always I try to look on the bright side of things, even though sometimes it can be a wee bit hard to see. For example, my great-aunt who I was very close to passed away. Needless to say I was very upset for a while. Everyone around me kept saying that "oh she lived a long life...at least she's not suffering, etc." I didn't care about any of that...she's gone and I don't want her to be and that was it! Couldn't really see past that for a minute. But like all things, that passed. Her death made me realize that life is too short and one minute you're here, the next you could be gone. A very simple concept in theory, but one we tend to forget all the time. Now, its unfortunate that someone dear to me had to leave my life in order for me to remember this, but at least I did indeed remember.
So with this renewed concept in mind, I re-declared who I am as a person...REAL! Therefore, those who are not real or cannot take me being real with them I've decided to bid them adieu! Doesn't mean I have any less love for ya, just means you can't be a part of my life like ya used to be. Sorry, but real recognize real and VivalaDiva can only associate herself with those like her :D
Another interesting thing happened in the month of May was my want and need to better my relationship with God. As always when you draw closer to God some folks in your life fall by the wayside, especially those you thought you were close to. Sad, but it always happens. However, I never worry about people because they come and they go; some are in your life for a season, and some a lifetime. I feel blessed to have known folks, even when they have wronged me, because believe it or not, wrong people help you recognize "right" people. Consequently, when you meet the "right" people, they help you recognize the wrong people disguised as "right" people. Following me?
Anyway, I'm ex-communicating the wrong right people for the right right people :) So if you find yourself talking less and less to VivalaDiva, now you know why....
Oh and the most important lesson of May: loose lips sink ships! I think I'll be keeping my secrets between me, my hubby, and God. Because people CLEARLY cannot be trusted.
Peace
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