Trimming the Fat

Yes I know it's been a while. But I'm back...again! LOL. I guess you can say I haven't had much to blog about, or rather nothing I wanted to share publicly, that is until now.

So recently I've been on my big health kick! I've been "trimming the fat" around my waistline and in my social circle. Now, its time to do the same with my finances. Now, anyone who knows me, knows that I'm what you call an "el cheap-o" and with this craptastic economy who could blame me! Unfortunately, even this el cheap-o has some debt to trim. So, here are some tips i live by and I want to share to help all my bros and sistas out:

1. Car note- Banks have some great APR rates on refinancing your vehicle. The way I see it, this is what I call "dumb" dept. If you can refinance to a lower rate and pay it off sooner...great! If not at least try to refi for a lower APR rate

2. Credit cards- Well I'm sure most of you have this debt. In my opinion this is the worst because most of the time you can ONLY afford to pay the minimum payment. Trust and believe when I say paying that will get you NO WHERE! The best thing to do is debt stack. Debt stacking is when you take the lowest bill and pay that off first. While your focus is on that particular bill you can pay the minimum on the other cards.

Also, I've started trying to use cash when I can and avoid using my debit card. You will tend to spend less when you have cash...at least I will. Plus, the cash is gone immediately from your account whereas using your debit card, the bank may reserve the funds you spend, but not directly take them from your account and the next thing you know, your account is in the negative....take it from someone who's been there! stupid Wachovia...humpf

3. Partying and BS'n- Yes we all like to go out and eat with our friends, and then go to the movies, etc., etc. But we're your broke and still trying to go out...yea not a good look. Personally my peoples know what the deal is. IF I even show up to hang out, I will not be paying for any kind of entrance fee, I will not be eating anything, and IF I drink something it will be water all night with a lemon! Holla! Now, I'm not saying one should deprive themselves, but there's nothing wrong with limiting yourself for a little while.

4. Coupons/Sales- My mom's is a coupon clipping somebody! LOL I love her for it though! Try to Google online coupons for various stores and merchandise. And of course you can always do it the old fashion way like my mom's...clip those coupons and save! Oh and always shop sales w/ coupons...double the savings! I NEVER go shopping unless there is some kind of sale, I have a coupon, or I have a giftcard.

5. BUDGET- This obviously is the most important. Personally, I write out all my bills every month and add them all up. I then subtract that from my monthly income and ta-da! I now see what I have left over and depending on what it is will determine how much I will contribute towards groceries, whether or not I'll get a mani, pedi, facial, shop, etc. It's ok to be a Diva on a budget!

So, those are my tips. Love or leave em, but its what helps/helped me. Please feel free to share whatever tips you may have. I would love to learn more about how you trim your fat.

The Age of Old

Morn-ting! I know I've been away! And might I say it was a happy and drama-free "away." But all things (good and bad) must come to and end and so here I am folks!

So, today I wanted to share my thoughts of impending old age...the BIG 3-0! Now I know what you must be thinking, why does she think 30 is old? Well because to me it is. Then again, you're reading the thoughts of someone who thought 25 was old and subsequently had a mild early life crisis! LOL. I know I'm a bit of a DQ, but hey, these are my thoughts and my blog so don't judge me! :p

Anyway, my hubby just turned 30 and I'm two years behind him and as of late I've been thinking to myself...you know maybe 30 isn't as bad as I think it is. I would be entitled to my 30 and over club card...LOL! Naw but seriously, I think my big hang up with 25 and here again with the 30 is not really being in a place where I thought I would be.

Don't get me wrong, I have a good life and I truly feel blessed, but there are certain areas in my life where I am not satisfied. Some things are beyond my control and I constantly remind myself that its just not time. However, other things are definitely in my control and as such, I have made the following goals for myself for the next two years:

1. Get it Tight and Get it RIGHT- YES! I'm taking my health in my own hands and making sure that by the time I'm 30, I'll look 21! :) I've already started to eat better and cut some things out of my diet. Now once I incorporate the exercise piece to this, there is NO stopping the kid!

2. Set Us FREE!- YES! By the time I'm 30, I will be debt free! Now don't get me wrong, the student loans will be here for a while, but my goal is to have my car and credit cards paid completely off! Yup, it's time to tighten that belt.

3. Vogue- YES! I gotta get a new look...now I'm not sure what this will be yet. I've already hacked away at my locs but I'm trying to decide if I want them completely gone, or if I want to let them grow out again, or if I want a new color....who knows! All I can say is that by 30, my hair and my style will be taking a turn and hopefully for the better! I don't want to wind up on one of those my friend can't dress for nothing and her hair is a mess shows! Yikes!

Those are my three goals and more will probably come into play, but for now those are my top three! See, this time around instead of complaining about how I'm not where I want to be, well I'm going to do something that I couldn't do when I was 25....take responsibility! These three goals I can control. Therefore, I will do everything I can to make sure I succeed. All the other stuff I leave to God. And you know what, if I don't accomplish these goals I can either rest in the fact that I tried my best or I can be disappointed knowing that I could have down better.

And if you know this reformed DQ, you know that the latter is not even an option! :)

My Body My Temple

Good morning all!

So last we spoke, I had some drama! EEEK! Well, I'm happy to say that for the moment, Drama can't find me! Of course it always sneaks up on me very unexpectedly, but such as life. I gave out a healthy dose of stiff arm to all the people that brought me drama and since then DRAMA-FREE!

Anyway, for a long time, I've been involved in the never-ending battle of the bulge. Well, for the past couple of years, I've been on the losing side. See, once upon a time, I as a cheerleader, no make that THE cheerleader...yes I'm tooting my horn! LOL I never had a need to exercise outside of cheerleading because it kept me in shape. Needless to say at the age of 28, with two bad knees, wrists, a bad shoulder and back issues, my cheerleading days are over! Yup I hung up my pom-poms a long time ago. Though sometimes I do feel the need to relive my glory days, I think I've come to see that they are over :(

So, I've been on the losing end of the battle of the bulge because I find exercise to be boring and monotonous! Like walking/running on a treadmill for 30-45 mins...that is to laugh! Now I know there's Zumba, kickboxing and the like, but its not cheerleading! I know what you are thinking...."get over it!" I've tried but I can't! That is until last week...

I was having a conversation with one of my best friends and she said something to me that just resonated: "It's like I'm watching myself give myself diabetes, and that's just dumb." Wow I thought! I never thought of it that way. Now obviously diabetes, high blood pressure, heart problems, etc. run ramped in the AA community, so we all should be better take ownership of our health. But until that comment, and that conversation it hadn't occurred to me that I was doing this to myself. And that YES I have a choice and I things don't really have to be this way. I guess it comes down to ACCOUNTABILITY! I wasn't holding myself accountable for my actions I was too busy making excuses and leading myself to believe "oh diabetes won't happen to me"....riiiiiight!

So, I've decided to hold myself fully accountable from now on. Since last week, I've exercised one time...I know it may not seem like much, but I haven't done that in months! In addition, fully intend to renew my Bally's membership, and heck at $68.00 for one year, its a steal and I'd be dumb not to! Also, no more sodas! From now on just Water and OJ (if my throat hurts). I've started to take a multivitamin as well and I try not to eat after 7:00pm during the week.

As far as I can tell, I feel okay.And believe me, feeling okay is way better than how I usually feel, which is HUNGRY! But I know once I develop my cheerleading based exercise routine I'll feel even better. Then I'll have the best of both worlds! HA! The goal of all of this is to not lose weight (I mean yes I want to do that) but to feel better and treat myself better.

After all, I'm worth it and so are you!

Can't Save the Unsaveable

Morn-ting everyone! So this blog is a follow-up if you will to my last one. So my last blog had a big message, a message that apparently a lot of folks needed to hear. I got a lot of feedback on it...thanks for reading! And more importantly, thanks for receiving the message.

Unfortunately, when I birthed my last blog, the inspiration behind it was only a single person. It is not surprising however, that this person is probably not even reading, and even if they did read, they probably wouldn't receive the message.

So in the spirit of closure I will say this, to me, being a true friend to someone is pointing out that they don't have a parachute when they are about to jump off a cliff. However, after laboring about my feelings on this particular friend's choices, I've decided that sometimes you just have to let the person jump parachute-less and all. It pains me to do this because it goes against what I typically would do, but I've come to a point where I feel like I've done all I can....maybe too much! I say that because I feel this person keeps me at a distance, I guess maybe they realize that what I'm saying is true, but they just refuse to face it...stubborn ass!

If you are content in wondering the forest of life without a flashlight, be my guest. Personally, I wish I had more friends like me. Because if you can't save yourself, then I certainly can't save you.

Oh well, such is life. Sad that folks gotta learn the hard way. I pray that they do indeed eventually learn because only fools make the same mistakes over and over and over again and expect a different and better outcome.

Signed,

A FORMER Fool

In Your Time or His?

As I lazily laid around yesterday watching the hubby get dressed to go out, I noticed that one of his Bibles was on the bed. Not having any idea what I wanted to read inside, I flipped it opened and ironically it opened to Ecclesiastes 3:

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:

a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,

a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

I say I ironically opened to this passage because this topic of TIME has come up a lot. As of late, I've been reflecting on where I was in my life from 2005- 2010; how my thoughts, way of doing things and way of viewing things have evolved. I can safely say that this issue of Time was one of my biggest hang-ups back in 2005.

Back in 2004, I was 22 years of age and had just graduated from college. I was full of hopes and dreams of marriage, kids, great career, etc. I just knew that by the time I reached 24/25 I'd be married and happily on my way to being a Mom with a nice house, dogs, etc. Sadly, a dose of reality set in the following year when I was at a job I hated with a supervisor that wanted nothing more than to see me fail. I made very little money and was still living at home with the parents. The latter was something I considered to be an embarrassment, because I had never lived on my own and I thought it was more than time to move-out, but I couldn't afford to.

To add insult to injury, my love life left much to be desired. I was with someone who claimed they loved me, but I kinda felt like he was trying to mold me into a shell of myself, which I allowed at the time, but I couldn't figure out why. I now know that I was settling to just have someone to call my own. Something that I didn't stop doing until 2007....sad, but very true.

During this period of my life, I was very into church. I made sure I was there every Sunday, with my tithes in hand. Sang songs, clapped my hands and wrote down great points the pastor made so I could refer to them later. But as my life took a turn for the worst, I began to ask myself...why I am bothering? God clearly is ignoring me and my situations while blessing those who don't even acknowledge him. So, I slowly began to drift away into a sea of depression and desperation which led me to have a negative attitude and to be alone with no man to call my own for the next two years.

Finally in 2007, after getting a better job and a home of my own, I decided to let go of the negativity and baggage and explore just hanging out, nothing serious, just a movie and dinner with a companion from time to time. Basically, keeping it very light. I had come to the realization that I love myself too much to be treated any ole' kinda way. Well, the second month of 2007, I met my now husband.

Now, in 2010 I can appreciate the two year hiatus and all the crap that took place between 2005 and 2007 because it led me to where I am today. Now why did I take you on that journey through my life? To share with you a few truths that I learned along the way:

1. Be satisfied with where you are and what you have now. Trust me, it can get and probably will get worse before it gets better.

2. Don't miss out on your blessing because its not what you want. God gives us what we need and a little bit of what we want (sometimes). Again, trust me! If you're in a situation where you're unhappy, its not the final destination in your life, just a layover, but the length of that layover will be determined by your attitude.

3. Like the passage says, there is a time for everything! Just because someone else is receiving their blessing, don't compare your life to theirs. All you see is their glory, but you have no idea the story behind it. Your time is not God's time.

Anyway, that's my story. Now, I'm not saying waiting patiently for your time is easy because its not. No one wants to be stuck in a rut that they can't see there way out of. But sometimes its not meant for us to see, but for us to just have faith and know that things will work out even if it seems impossible. If something doesn't work out then it wasn't meant to be and we should just press forward.

I have a few friends that are struggling with Time and I hope they receive this message and learn from my mistakes. Five years seems like a long time, but compared to 28 years, its a drop in the bucket.

If Ya Real And Ya Know It Clap Ya Hands *Clap Clap*

G'day all! Hope the Memorial weekend was fantastic! Mine left much to be desired, but at least it ended on a brighter note than it began so for that I am thankful.

So this past May was a very interesting and trying month for me in many ways. But as always I try to look on the bright side of things, even though sometimes it can be a wee bit hard to see. For example, my great-aunt who I was very close to passed away. Needless to say I was very upset for a while. Everyone around me kept saying that "oh she lived a long life...at least she's not suffering, etc." I didn't care about any of that...she's gone and I don't want her to be and that was it! Couldn't really see past that for a minute. But like all things, that passed. Her death made me realize that life is too short and one minute you're here, the next you could be gone. A very simple concept in theory, but one we tend to forget all the time. Now, its unfortunate that someone dear to me had to leave my life in order for me to remember this, but at least I did indeed remember.

So with this renewed concept in mind, I re-declared who I am as a person...REAL! Therefore, those who are not real or cannot take me being real with them I've decided to bid them adieu! Doesn't mean I have any less love for ya, just means you can't be a part of my life like ya used to be. Sorry, but real recognize real and VivalaDiva can only associate herself with those like her :D

Another interesting thing happened in the month of May was my want and need to better my relationship with God. As always when you draw closer to God some folks in your life fall by the wayside, especially those you thought you were close to. Sad, but it always happens. However, I never worry about people because they come and they go; some are in your life for a season, and some a lifetime. I feel blessed to have known folks, even when they have wronged me, because believe it or not, wrong people help you recognize "right" people. Consequently, when you meet the "right" people, they help you recognize the wrong people disguised as "right" people. Following me?

Anyway, I'm ex-communicating the wrong right people for the right right people :) So if you find yourself talking less and less to VivalaDiva, now you know why....

Oh and the most important lesson of May: loose lips sink ships! I think I'll be keeping my secrets between me, my hubby, and God. Because people CLEARLY cannot be trusted.

Peace

Shifting Your Perspective

So yes its my birthday! YAY ME! The nerve of me coming to work today on MY day...I can't even remember the last time I did such a thing. I personally believe your birth date is your personal holiday. But alas I'm counting down to my honeymoon/vacay so I had to save some leave...so here I am!

As I was driving into work today...slightly pissed about coming into work my whole attitude suddenly changed. I started to feel thankful for even having a job to come in to. Feeling blessed to have such a wonderful, thoughtful and loving partner in my husband. And feeling great that I have such awesome friends. So my negative attitude stopped dead in its tracks and I took a little moment just to thank God for living to see 28 years of age and just for everything HE has done for me and continues to do for me.

So, my purpose in writing this blog is to share this blessing: although things can always be worse, for those of us that have a real relationship with God, even when things look bad, God is just making the circumstances just right for things to be not just better, but AWESOME and WONDERFUL beyond your comprehension! Hopefully this will put a smile on your face if you're feeling down :)

Happy Memorial folks! Have a great long weekend ON PURPOSE!