Just Listen...

I almost feel like I have to re-introduce myself...its been a while but I think I'm going to start spending more time here and less time on Facebook (FB).

I'm starting to realize that perhaps you shouldn't give an open window to your deep and personal thoughts and feelings because you're inviting a lot of people into your mind/spirit. Sometimes I just want to be heard....no commentary necessary....sigh!

Update on Me

My birthday is coming up and I'll be a whopping 33 years young. I used to be so scared of the 30's but its not so bad. I've done a lot of growing and letting people go and honestly, I would like to think I'm a better person for it.

Update on Peanut

Peanut is my baby's in-utero name. Peanut is 24 weeks old (25 on Friday) and is growing steadily. Peanut's doing a lot of hiccuping as of late...poor baby :) While I do know Peanut's gender, I've only chosen to share it with family and those closest to me. Everyone else will find out once the shower invites go out! :)

Update on LJ

LJ is growing up so fast its amazing...I kinda want him to slow down a bit. I guess I will always see him as my baby. But my baby is going to be 4 years old in June...wow! I'm praying he gets a lottery slot and can go to our neighborhood Montessori school for free! I just dread paying another year of glorified and sub-par babysitting...or what many call daycare.

LJ will be playing T-ball in the coming months...hopefully he'll take a liking to it. If not, we tried. I can't wait to see him in his little T-ball uniform....too cute!!!

Mmmmkay that's it for now. Take it light people! :)

Frustrated Pt II: PCOS the Thief of Womanhood

Definition: Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS): Polycystic ovary syndrome is a condition in which a woman has an imbalance of a female sex hormones. This may lead to menstrual cycle changes, cysts in the ovaries, trouble getting pregnant, and other health changes.


Causes, incidence, and risk factors: It is not completely understood why or how the changes in the hormone levels occur. The changes make it harder for a woman's ovaries to release fully grown (mature) eggs.  Normally, one or more eggs are released during a woman's period. This is called ovulation. In PCOS, mature eggs are not released from the ovaries. Instead, they can form very small cysts in the ovary.

These changes can contribute to infertility. The other symptoms of this disorder are due to the hormone imbalances.

Most of the time, PCOS is diagnosed in women in their 20s or 30s. However, it may also affect teenage girls. The symptoms often begin when a girl's periods start. Women with this disorder often have a mother or sister who has symptoms similar to those of polycystic ovary syndrome.

Symptoms: Changes in your period (menstrual cycle), no period after you have had one or more normal ones during puberty (secondary amenorrhea), irregular periods, that may come and go and may be very light to very heavy. PCOS can cause you to develop male-like characteristics. This is called virilization. Symptoms include: body hair growing on the chest, belly, face, and around the nipples, decreased breast size, thinning of the hair on the head, called male-pattern baldness, deepening voice, acne that gets worse, dark or thick skin markings and creases around the armpits, groin, neck and breasts. 

So based on the above information I don't think I have to explain why so many have dubbed this disorder the "Thief of Womanhood." Unfortunately, I was diagnosed with PCOS in 2009. What seemed like a life-sentence in infertility jail, the Lord blessed my husband and I with a beautiful baby boy in 2011. I love him to life. He is truly a miracle.

However, I still battle daily with the effects of PCOS....extreme weight gain, facial hair, and lack of energy. Well....I may have PCOS but it doesn't have ME! I will no longer be a victim instead I'm gonna be a VICTOR!

As I begin my journey to controlling my disorder and not letting it control me I just ask for your prayers. The journey is going to be hard but at the end of it I know I'll be a better person mentally and physically. So wish me luck and I'll keep you updated on my progress!

Ready...set...GO!

Hello 30, You Look GOOD on Me!

Hello out there to those who still read my lil ole blog! So I've been the big 3-0 for about four days now and honestly....ITS NOT A BIG DEAL! LOL! I've been dreading this number/age for quite some time and when I finally arrive at its destination it was rather anti-climatic. Don't get me wrong, its weird to think to myself that I'm this old (yes I know "old" is relative) but I can happily and truthfully say that I'm glad to be here. Many people I know didn't make it to see 30 so I can't help but feel blessed to still be above ground, healthy, in my right mind, and surrounded by people who love me.

So, I would love to write a blog post and reflect on my twenties, but I haven't had time to even think about them. However, what I can tell you is 20 feels a lifetime ago; I was so immature and dating all the wrong people. I think the biggest take-away from my twenties was the life lessons I learned. And as much as I would love to hop in my pretend time machine and go back and prevent some of the stupid things I did, I can't because everything that happened then made me the fabulous 30 year old I am today.

At the moment the only thing that bothers me in life in general is my slowly moving (sometimes crawling) career. However, taking a lesson from my twenties, I may not be where I want to be when I want to be there, but I'll get there in God's time. And in God's time things are just so much better!

Anyway, stay tuned for my adventures in my thirties!

Goodbye 2011 and Hello 2012

Okay so I haven't posted in a while...sue me! In fact most of my fellow bloggers haven't blogged in a while either so at least I'm still hanging in there.

So I hardly had ill feelings about 2011 but I'm always glad and blessed to usher in a new year. Though 2011 was an amazing year for many reasons most of all the birth of my son! I love that boy so much I can't imagine life without him. I love being a mom its the best feeling in the world. Sorry to go on about it but it truly is a blessing and I am thankful for each day I have that little boy in my life. My husband and I are truly blessed.

In 2012 I really want to reach the following goals for myself and family:

- Find a church home: Uber important!!! Hubby and I have been putting our search on hold for so long but I am definitely going to make strides to get us to a church this Sunday. We need our foundation to remain strong.

- Do some home improvements: Hubs and I have been playing with the idea of selling our house and moving into a bigger, cheaper home. However, with the constantly downward-spiraling economy we would only break even if we sold our home, and this simply is not good enough. We don't want to rent the house so I guess we'll just stay put for now and do more improvements and organization to create more space.

- Lose Weight: Hubs and I are both on the weight loss kick. At this point I need to shed at least 100lbs. YES! I've already gotten started with Zumba and doing some things in the house. I don't want to avoid the gym completely but I don't find going to the gym to be productive for me. But I may have to do anyway. At this point I just want the weight off so however it comes off the fastest and stays off is the way I'll hold on to.

- Let folks go: It's always sad to let someone go who you deem yourself close to. But honestly some people are just for a season for a reason. I'm finding that I have less and less in common with 1-2 of my closer girlfriends and really and truly I've been trying to hang out but I just can't and won't anymore.

Those are the major goals...there are some others but I won't go into those. At any rate, this year I want to be a better more productive ME instead of a NEW me. I've been a new me for several years. I like who I am at the moment. Just need some enhancements if you will...LOL!

Anyway Happy New Year Peeps! Make it a great one!

Privacy Please?!

What up...its been a long time. I've been blogging over at my Mommy Blog. Check it out!

So I was minding my own business this morning when I came across an email from my LS (*waving to HE Fall 03*) and I was really taken a back to what I read! Basically she informed me that someone has loc envy with slightly stalker-ish tendencies.

I clicked on the link to find this woman who showered me with nothing but compliments about my locs. She had obtained an engagement photo of me and my hubby from a newspaper article. We were featured in the Express BIO in 2010. Anyway, I was very flattered and yes I'm not going to lie the ego did boost about 10 points, but what disturbed me was the fact that she saw some of my wedding photos!

YES I posted some photos on FB but I make sure that only friends can see photos and NO ONE sees tagged photos of me. So first its weird that she went out of her way to search for me on FB and then found a loop hole to see my wedding pictures.

So this got me the thinking....can you really truly have privacy in the world we live in? Will you be subject to sharing the most intimate moments of you life? Not cool!

Effective immediately I will be taking down any pictures I have up of my lil guy. Also, I will be double checking my privacy settings on FB and I may even *gasp* leave all together. I'm sorry, its one thing to put things out there for people to see but its another when total strangers have access to your life.

I feel violated! :(

Change is a Must Growing Up...Not So Much

I'm back! Well not really. I've been cheating on this blog with my other blog. My alternative blog chronicles my journey of pregnancy and of course post pregnancy, motherhood.

Anyway, I had a conversation not too long ago with some folks and was slightly offended about where it ended and or led to. I left the conversation wondering if I was really a dry biscuit? Meaning a person who doesn't really know how to have fun or someone who is too uptight. Yea in my opinion that definitely doesn't describe me.

Personally, I know a lot of people who do a lot of club/lounge hopping, drinking, traveling, etc. Now the latter, traveling, I can totally get with. In fact despite myself and Hubby about to be parents, I definitely think we should do more weekend getaways. And of course, I'd like to do more traveling with my friends. HOWEVER, I draw the line at club/lounge hopping and drinking. Now don't get me wrong I thoroughly enjoy wine, but I don't get twisted off my ass every weekend just cause. I'm too old for that and quite frankly its just not me. So, call it what you want, I just don't get down like that.

I guess I'm starting to want to involve myself with people who share my interests. Not that I don't have people in my life like that now, but I kinda feel like folks in my life have preconceived notions of me and what I like to do. Not knowing that in true Gemini fashion I change a lot and I change constantly. So, one minute I may not like something and then the next I'm totally into it.

Problem is, I'm not exactly trusting of people so that makes it hard to meet new people and make friends. But I think in order for me to be happy especially going forward I guess I have to take the plunge and be a little more open and trusting of folks. Ugh...good luck to me :) Then again, since I'll be a new Mommy I'm sure I'll be meeting all kinds of new people which will force me to open up and talk to folks. So, I guess I'll look forward to it. :D

The Age of Old

Morn-ting! I know I've been away! And might I say it was a happy and drama-free "away." But all things (good and bad) must come to and end and so here I am folks!

So, today I wanted to share my thoughts of impending old age...the BIG 3-0! Now I know what you must be thinking, why does she think 30 is old? Well because to me it is. Then again, you're reading the thoughts of someone who thought 25 was old and subsequently had a mild early life crisis! LOL. I know I'm a bit of a DQ, but hey, these are my thoughts and my blog so don't judge me! :p

Anyway, my hubby just turned 30 and I'm two years behind him and as of late I've been thinking to myself...you know maybe 30 isn't as bad as I think it is. I would be entitled to my 30 and over club card...LOL! Naw but seriously, I think my big hang up with 25 and here again with the 30 is not really being in a place where I thought I would be.

Don't get me wrong, I have a good life and I truly feel blessed, but there are certain areas in my life where I am not satisfied. Some things are beyond my control and I constantly remind myself that its just not time. However, other things are definitely in my control and as such, I have made the following goals for myself for the next two years:

1. Get it Tight and Get it RIGHT- YES! I'm taking my health in my own hands and making sure that by the time I'm 30, I'll look 21! :) I've already started to eat better and cut some things out of my diet. Now once I incorporate the exercise piece to this, there is NO stopping the kid!

2. Set Us FREE!- YES! By the time I'm 30, I will be debt free! Now don't get me wrong, the student loans will be here for a while, but my goal is to have my car and credit cards paid completely off! Yup, it's time to tighten that belt.

3. Vogue- YES! I gotta get a new look...now I'm not sure what this will be yet. I've already hacked away at my locs but I'm trying to decide if I want them completely gone, or if I want to let them grow out again, or if I want a new color....who knows! All I can say is that by 30, my hair and my style will be taking a turn and hopefully for the better! I don't want to wind up on one of those my friend can't dress for nothing and her hair is a mess shows! Yikes!

Those are my three goals and more will probably come into play, but for now those are my top three! See, this time around instead of complaining about how I'm not where I want to be, well I'm going to do something that I couldn't do when I was 25....take responsibility! These three goals I can control. Therefore, I will do everything I can to make sure I succeed. All the other stuff I leave to God. And you know what, if I don't accomplish these goals I can either rest in the fact that I tried my best or I can be disappointed knowing that I could have down better.

And if you know this reformed DQ, you know that the latter is not even an option! :)