My Set-Back, My Set-Up and My Breakthrough

Hello followers! I have a testimony I'd like to share. Have you ever thought or even imagined that all things that happen to you in life work together for a positive outcome in the end? Yes I'm summarizing a Biblical passage (Romans 28:8) and I know to some of you this may seem idealistic but it's true, real, and a promise. Follow me for minute while I share with you my story, my testimony.

My Set-Back

In July 2012 I found myself unemployed. However, I was happy that I didn't have to return to a place where I was no longer happy or growing. My happiness was short-lived as I began to wonder how in the world I was going to pay my bills without a job. Luckily I had some savings to fall back on but that was not going to last forever....what the hell was I gonna do?! Well I decided this type of situation was out of my hands so I gave it to the Lord and I focused on enjoying my days at home with my child. I guess you could say I became a temporary stay at home mom.

Being a stay at home mom whether temporarily or permanently is a tall order. I enjoyed the ride but I knew at some point it was best for me to get off and resume my life as a working mom and wife. While at home I applied to several jobs and went on several interviews and while this within itself was a blessing, nothing was breaking through for me. With no job offer on the table and only one more month left of money, I began to feel hopeless.

My Set-Up

After a failed attempt to seek employment through temp agency...let's call it EC I was very hesitant to trust another temp agency. To me they were making grandiose promises and not doing jack! However not really having a choice I kept applying to jobs through a temp agency called Profiles. When Profiles called me asking me would I be interested in a position with Johns Hopkins University as a Web Content Specialist, I told them sure and asked them to send me the job description. I was put in touch with the hiring manager and had a very brief phone and in-person interview. The days following I was on pins and needles waiting for the phone call but when I got it, it was AWESOME news! I got the job! As always the Lord was right on time as my savings was gone and there was no way I would have been able to pay any of my bills for the following month without a job.

While my time with Hopkins was enjoyable and a most welcome change from my previous environment, I still needed and wanted a full-time position with benefits. Everyday I told myself to be patient and that some how some way God was going to work it out. Days turned into weeks and weeks turned to months and while I was applying for jobs, nothing seemed all that promising. To add insult to injury, Hopkins had not gotten back to me on the status of full-time employment. Starting to feel frustrated at my "gone with the wind" career, all I could do was sigh and carry on.

After searching for jobs on every possible medium you could think of I ran across a position that peaked my interest, however, after reading the job description I thought to myself....I know I can do this job, but my experience doesn't really speak to it so I'm not even going to waste my time. So I kept it moving. Some time passed and I started to reflect on a conversation my husband and I had in which he called me a "tweener" (betweener). Though I didn't like the statement, he had a point. My skill set was very in between...not technical exactly but not a writer/editor either. All this time I thought my mesh of skills was one of my greatest attributes in the work world. But I realized that my skills weren't the problem; my inability to figure out exactly what I wanted and therefore what career path I should be traveling was the real issue. Sigh...but I'm a Gemini....the definition of indecision! Though I cannot see myself doing the same exact thing for 30 + years it was time to grow up and make some decisive decisions.

My Breakthrough

So I made a decision on my career path. Once I did, I felt this relief and sense of direction wash over me. I finally had a career path. I was no longer lost...finally I found myself! What an awesome feeling. With my new found sense of direction, I sought out very specific jobs and applied to them with such urgency I surprised myself. I even went back to that job I thought about applying to but didn't. I applied! Like my hubby always says "you gotta be in the race to win it." Much to my chagrin, the job that I didn't think I would even be considered for, called me! After speaking with a women in the HR dept. she want to bring me in for an interview with the hiring manager. 

My interview day came and I was a little nervous naturally, but I was confident in my skill set and what I felt I could bring to the position. When I left the interview my confidence was completely shattered. I just felt like the hiring manager threw some questions at me which I totally was unprepared for. I held my own, but I just wasn't sure what he really thought of me and my skills.

Feeling a little defeated the day following my interview, I resigned myself to wait and see what Hopkins was going to do. Sometimes you just gotta sit and wait on the Lord so that's what I was determined to do. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that everything would work out eventually.

Almost a week after my interview I was on my way to work and I noticed that the hiring manager requested to connect with me on LinkedIn. While I thought that was kinda weird, I didn't give it to much thought at the time. Once I got to work I got a phone call around 8:30am, now if you know me, you know I don't answer the phone when I don't recognize a number. Who ever called me didn't leave a message so I Google'd the phone number. The number was to the company I had just interviewed for. Feeling excited and confused I of course like a teenage girl waiting on a boy to call her...sat EAGERLY by my phone and pretended to work. Hours passed and about 15 minutes before I left work I got a voice mail message alert to my email. I quickly grabbed my phone and raced downstairs and stood outside the building to listen to the voice mail. It was the hiring manager offering me the job!

OH HAPPY DAY!!!!!

Lessons Learned

Overall I'm proud of the strides I made in my path of personal growth. When I lost my job I could have easily gotten depressed and slipped back into my negative self. But I didn't! Why, because I got someone watching my back...GOD! And, being a mom and a wife, I have people depending on me, so there's no time to be sad and depressed over spilled milk. I got up, dusted myself off and cleaned up the milk and hoped that better things were in the works.

When I look back over my life, things always seem to work out for the best. Of course things never really work out the way I expect/plan them to but I've learned that God laughs at our plans. Everything is always in HIS time. And honestly, that's the BEST for us even if we don't always believe it to be so.

If I had to sum up this post with one thought, it would be: hold on and keep praying....things will work out. Even in our darkest hour, those who know the Lord will always see the light at the end of the tunnel. Keep pushing toward that light. It's worth it!

~Tam

Eureka: The Induction Date

So after waiting all weekend --which by the way seemed like an eternity-- I decided to call my doc's office early this morning and not wait on them to contact me...you know take the proactive approach. Needless to say I did not get a desirable outcome. I ended up being left on hold forever and then to add insult to injury I had to leave the woman who sets up the induction dates with the hospital a message. No problem! I definitely intended to call back. :)

About 2-3 hours later I called back and actually spoke with the nice lady and she told me something I definitely didn't want to hear and that was that the hospital was booked this week and had no room for me for my induction! WTF!!! *SCREAM*

So here I am thinking I'd be 42 weeks before anything popped off and I was not happy about that at all! The only reason I didn't burst into immediate tears is my dear sweet Mom telling me to "get over it." LOL! So I did and we proceeded on our journey of attempting to find some wallpaper to finish redecorating our half-bath downstairs in hubby and I's house.

Once I got home an hour or so later I received another phone call from my doctor's office telling me that there was a cancellation and that my induction was scheduled for THIS WEEK! YES!
I am going into the hospital on Wednesday but I won't start any pitocin until early Thursday morning. So the hope is I'll have a June 23rd or 24th birthday celebration for my little guy! Hubby and I were desperately hoping for a Gemini baby since we're both Geminis but unfortunately that just wasn't meant to be.

Of course ultimately the most important thing here is that our little guys is healthy and will be here in a few short days! Thank you Jesus! We are too excited and overjoyed and can't wait to meet him.

The Dreaded Cerclage Removal

So the title of this blog is purposely misleading. LOL! The cerclage removal was actually very swift and painless. The part I hated most was a actually a tie between the GBS test and the insertion of the speculum. Other than those two, everything went fine. In fact my mother seeing the huge scissors that the Dr. used to remove the cerclage, was more scared than I was. Lucky for me I was totally oblivious to what the scissors looked like.

L.J. is looking to be about a six-eight pound baby. Hopefully he'll be right in the middle at seven pounds. But either way as long as he's healthy I'm happy. Oh and also according to this last doctor's visit I lost eight pounds in a week! Yikes! No idea what's going on with my fluctuating weight! But again, L.J. is healthy and happy (according to doc) so I don't give much thought to my weight going up and down. I guess I'm just weird. LOL!

Anyway so now that the cerclage is gone chances of me going into labor at any point are high. My cervix though not completely incompetent still funnels when pressure is put on it. Now that L.J. is bigger and I'm not on bed rest of any kind chances of him coming early are likely. I'd just like to make it to at least 37 weeks (full term) which is actually next Friday (my birthday). If he comes at any point after that we're out of the woods and L.J. shouldn't have any issues.

So fingers crossed for a full term baby, but not an over-cooked one. I think at this point going beyond 40 weeks is my biggest fear!

I Need Batteries!

Yup I'm in desperate need of some batteries...for myself! As of late I'm sooooo tired and really I feel like its for no reason at all. Though I guess if housing a baby counts then, well, I guess I can complain just a tad about being tired.

My 2nd trimester wind has definitely died, and as my Sisterlocks client remarked to me yesterday I won't be getting a third! Darn! I can't lie though it is slightly frustrating to be this tired but I guess it is what it is....*shrug* not like I didn't know this repeat of the 1st trimester would rear its ugly head again. LOL

Anyway, still making small strides on the nursery. We still have a twin bed that needs to get gone and a chest that needs to be moved downstairs to the laundry room. Additionally, I need to order some shades (taking down the crappy cheap blinds) and get the carpet cleaned but all those things are small minor details. We did get the travel system put together *happy dance* so again, progress!

I can't believe that my shower or should I say our shower will be in a couple of weeks! YES! My mom got the paper invites in the mail and now its just all about who to invite. Either way all invites (paper and electronic) will go out by Friday, April 1st! AND maternity photos at the end of April, two weeks before the shower! Needless to say April is going to be an exciting month! Can't wait to post more pics...stay tuned!

Marching to a New Beat

Its March and Spring is finally in the air...with the exception of the snow we got in the northern and eastern parts of Maryland.

I am 25 weeks and 3 days today! 2 more weeks until the dreaded 2nd trimester is over and the 3rd trimester begins. I can hardly wait! The 2nd tri seems to have dragged on and I'm over it at this point. :)

So last two weeks ago I was very excited to get the go-ahead to return to work. However upon my return I discovered that my parking had be canceled and my company couldn't offer me parking within the building per my doctor's request. These inconveniences coupled with the long drive and rising gas prices I began to miss working at home. But I didn't have to miss it for long because once my doctor got word of my parking situation he put me back on modified bed rest but did allow me a little more leeway as far as household chores and moving around.

All and all I have left the sorrows of February behind. While I'm still annoyed with work I'm able to push past the BS and not make emotional decisions.

Last but not least here are some nursery pictures:

Nursery Bedding

Fresh paint and chair rail


New wall plate (matches the bedding)

One of diaper bags (this one has the same pattern as the stroller)

Couldn't resist purchasing at least one box of diapers (I love Amazon!)

The Name of the Game: Sacrifice!

You know, I never thought I'd be able to have a child. Don't ask why, I guess it was just one of those feelings that resonate deep in your gut. You know the feeling.....Needless to say, I hoped and prayed that I'd be a mama one day and more importantly give hubby a son.

Well, BAM! Six months after we get married, I find out that I'm pregnant. Of course this didn't stop me from worrying but I tried to let go and let God. So appointment after appointment little one hung in there and my fears slowly disappear.

Naturally after I became confident that enough that baby was going to be fine I went shopping! And did even more shopping once I found out that little one was a BOY! :) Yup, Hubby got what he wanted and of course was over the moon.

Everything was going well until Feb. 4th when I got put on bed rest. Now, I won't go into details, but I just knew that this was nothing serious and that I'd be up and running again in no time. HA! What's the saying..."when you make plans God laughs"...or something like that. Anyway fast forward 14 days and a minor procedure and my doctor informs me that I'll be on bed rest until my little one comes.

Honestly, I'm okay. I've been working from home and hopefully I can continue to do so. Now I could sit here and be salty about not being able to clean up around the house, cook for myself, come and go whenever I please, set up the nursery, etc. But why dwell on the negative? The most important thing in life to me right now is my child. So whatever I have to do to get him here safe then best believe I'll do it! It's called sacrifice and I guess I better start getting used to it.

Do I wish I had a run-of-the-mill pregnancy...SURE! But it just wasn't the hand I was dealt. Hubby said it best...When encountering adversity face it head on, don't run from it but persevere through it. Faith is developed during the process of such endurance and that belief can serve as a catalyst for you overcoming your trials and tribulations. Don't skip the process because in the PROCESS there is POWER. Yup gotta love a man of God. I know that once this is all said and done it'll be worth it. And quite frankly, this has not discouraged me from having more children. At least in the future I know what I'll be dealing with and hopefully there won't be anymore surprises.

So, if you wanna pay me a visit...I'll be home! LOL..til next time :)